I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
