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Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just invented taco cereal.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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