no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
