So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
