This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Randomize
