she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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