One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
