If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
