my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
