DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
She made me pour olive oil on her.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
