I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
