I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
