So drunk its hurt
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
