it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
