You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
