Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
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Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
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Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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