I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
