Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
