If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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