i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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