Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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