so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
