do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
