Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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