Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
