I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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