Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
