hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
