I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
