i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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