I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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