you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
