I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
