I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
