He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
