Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
