make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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