We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
