Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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