I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
