what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
