the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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