i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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