belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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