New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
