marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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