who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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