I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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