It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
