it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
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The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
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I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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