what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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