I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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