i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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