You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
