one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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