Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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