If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
one might say we're banned from that church
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I lost the right to judge tonight
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
