windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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