One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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