Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I feel like abortions should bother me more
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
